Ralph and I worked on Mom's home today. We trimmed the trees and put up Christmas lights for her. It made her very happy.
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| My mom's home. |
It was a beautiful morning. The air was cool and crisp.
Today is the last day of Advent...and I have much to celebrate.
Advent has always been special to me. Its during this season that I like to "shake" off the excess stuff. It's no secret that depression has come and gone several times in my life. It's hereditary. I have to thank my God for seeing me through those low times; It has been during the Advent season when He's brought me out of those hard times.
I was reminded of one Advent that changed me forever.
It was the last day in November, 1996. For Advent, I have given each of my daughters a small wooden Easter egg left over from Easter. The little wooden egg is no bigger than an inch. They are to keep it with them 24/7. At any given time, when asked by their father or me, they must produce the tiny egg. This little egg represents Jesus Christ. The purpose is to bring to their attention the many distractions life throws our way and how we need to keep alive the thought of Christ in our hearts and minds.
It was an interesting experiment. By the sixth day, they became aware how easily they misplaced the tiny egg. So I decided to broaden the task. I wanted to know if they could be self sufficient and able to take care of themselves by themselves. How prepared were they? I don't know what made me decide to do this. At the time, Diana was 15, Adri, 13, and Sam was 10. Each girl did well. Without knowing, their preparation would be put to the test.
Two weeks later, on New Year's Eve at about 11:00 p.m., I rushed Ralph to McAllen Regional Hospital in severe pain. Ralph had acute pancreatitus and was admitted into the hospital shortly before midnight. I couldn't believe the sequence of events. One minute we were going to celebrate the New Year and next thing I knew, Ralph was was shutting down...his organs were shutting down.
I remember standing by the big picture window in Ralph's hospital room looking out over a cold, misty rainy McAllen. The New Year siren sounded. I prayed and asked God to please send the right doctors to help Ralph and to give me the strength to see us through this unexpected challenge. I thanked Him and welcomed the new year.
The next day I was introduced to two doctors, newly arrived from the Mayo Clinic in Arizona, who would be taking care of Ralph. I owe everything to them. Let me explain.
The second night, my brother-in-law volunteered to stay with Ralph overnight. The next day Ralph looked worse than ever. It seems my brother-in-law watched basketball the entire night. Ralph couldn't sleep. The next night, one of three sister-in-laws stayed with Ralph and me. Her entire conversation consisted of how many relatives we had already lost in the last few days. Five by her count. She was afraid Ralph was next.
My mom didn't help either. She was worried as to how I was going to raise three girls...alone.
Day 3, and the second sister-in-law covered the night watch. The next day I was presented with a notebook containing a diary of everything that was done and not done plus things to question. She did not like the doctors.
My sister-in-law wanted me to get new doctors.
I said no.
She said, "If my brother dies, it will be on your head. It will be your fault."
It looked bleak. Where to turn? Luckily, I was not alone...Dr. Ozcelebi asked me to be strong.
"It will get worse before it gets better." he said. "One organ will fail but another will respond. Don't believe what you see or hear."
"Okay," I said, "but I need your help. Is it possible for you to keep my husband from receiving visitors including his family? Only his father and his middle sister are allowed."
He blocked visitors for Ralph and phone calls. For the next seven days, I'd stay 23 hours at the hospital, go home for an hour, bathe and take groceries home and make sure my daughters were well.
The Twelve Days of Advent preparation was exactly what was needed. My daughters were prepared. My girls continued to go to school, keep up with their school work and a functioning home. One less thing to worry about.
For seven days it was just my daughters and me, counting on each other, praying, being strong.
Ralph was not improving. On the eleventh day we got bad news. Dr. Ozcelibi thought it might be a good idea to prepare my daughters for the worst - their dad may not be coming home.
I was in shock. This was the last thing I expected to hear. So I went home, bearing terrible news.
My daughters were busy getting supper ready when I arrived. I asked them to stop. I needed to talk to them. They stopped what they were doing and walked into the living room.
I explained to them that it wasn't looking good and Daddy may not make it.
"We won't know how long...," I told them.
Diana, my oldest, spoke first.
"Mom, Daddy's going to be okay. He's just off on a business trip. He'll be home soon. Don't worry."
"Yeah, mom," the other girls chimed in. "He'll be home soon..."
I sat there stunned, their faces showing me what I needed to see, then I said, "You know girls, you're right. Daddy is just on a business trip."
We talk about having faith...my daughters showed me how to walk it.
I returned to the hospital. Slapped my husband in the face and told him he was not going anywhere. Of course, Ralph didn't know where he was much less what was happening to him, but he opened his eyes wide for the first time in twelve days. I became his nurse. I shaved his face, cut his hair and bathed him (I'm sorry but the nurses were overbooked!) Ralph hadn't eaten anything for 12 days now, just ice chips. The doctor's had to install a feeding tube that's when they found out he had blockage in his liver. They cleared that and slowly Ralph came back to us. By day 18 he was out of the woods.
Faith. It took faith to bring him home.
This is the bond I share with my daughters - this belief in God - faith strong enough to believe in what is not seen. I know why I have my daughters in my life
so many things...
This has been an outstanding Advent Season.
We'll be spending Christmas at my daughter's and Rory's new home. My family is growing.
This was the first Holiday Season with lots of changes - getting used to my Dad being gone. My daughters are gone from home and my oldest is unable to come home for the holidays but we still have days before Christmas and you never know... But I am so lucky to be alive, to have the husband I have, the children of my heart, family and friends I can count on.
Merry Christmas and May God Bless....
(Thank you to all my friends for their kind thoughts and words. It's getting better everyday...)
Whoa, Diana, that is quite a deal you went through. ... and so inspiring.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for sharing it.