Dear Friends and Family...
Several years ago...too many to count, my dear friend and classmate, Dora Elia Garcia Saavedra (Dr. Saavedra of UPTA) moved back to the valley after many years away. Our family had recently returned, too, after being away some 22 years. Dora and I clung to each other that first year. She was trying to finish her dissertation for her Ph.D. and I was trying to adjust to valley living...city living gave me experiences that had changed me. My awareness opened my eyes to differences that didn't have to be. There was the "machismo" attitude, the non-existent conservation and recycling system, family dramas and dramas that I thought belonged back in high school.
Ralph and I had moved around quite a bit during our sabbatical from the valley. We lived in Houston, got transferred to Denver, Colorado, back to Houston, then Longview, Texas and finally San Antonio before we moved back. I enjoyed freedoms that freed my mind and my soul, and now we were returning to the valley. I dreaded returning to the valley. I cried for days, praying that I was strong enough to face the challenges I knew I would be facing. At the time it was my mother and my sister I dreaded returning to not so much for me but for my young daughters. I did not want them to go through what I had experienced growing up. This time around, I informed my mom and sis, if they spewed even an ounce of uninvited, cruel criticism, it would be the last time I would speak to them. Without going into detail regarding this criticism, trust me, there is constructive criticism and this was not that. (I do want to add that my sister is no longer that person.)
So back to Dora...
Dora and I would walk at Bill Schupp Park here in McAllen, sometimes daily, sometimes just a few times a week. We discussed her dissertation, our families, prayer and meditation. I had found that praying the rosary was especially helpful in quieting the mind. At the time, Dora did not know how to pray the rosary. So everyday, we would pray, sometimes out loud and sometimes in silence. It wasn't long before Dora perfected her rosary, archiving to memory the different mysteries of our faith. Combined with meditation, I found that in order to live a more grounded, spiritual life I had to silence my mind. How can I hear or know God if my mind is constantly chattering about mundane things that have nothing to do with him or living a good life. It was a wonderful time.
It would be great if I could say that I have prayed the rosary everyday since then but that would be a big, fat lie. On this side of my return to the valley, meditation also fell by the wayside. It is not until now that I've finally have gotten to that place...and if you've been there, you know what I'm talking about. It happens to joggers when they run, it's the place I call "The Zone." When I jogged, walked, mediated, or prayed the rosary it put me in the Zone.
More years passed, Dora got her doctorate and I joined the work force. It was in the year 2000, I, along with two of my classmates, decided to revive our class reunions. Everyone was so busy, raising children, working, and facing challenges. But a small core of our class remained faithful and we began gathering every year. Made up mostly of locals, we celebrated another lifetime and people that touched us.
It wasn't long before things got messy. That valley mentality (It's what I call it. This is not meant of offend anyone but it exists.) It got the better of us and soon there were problems in Camelot.
During that time Celia Munoz Bazziomani, our larger than life beam of light and classmate, my childhood friend and confidant, found herself battling cancer. It's now 2005, and unbeknownst to us, Celia is battling the biggest war in her life. Following surgery that was suppose to fix everything, there were complications. Celia fell into a coma for 30 days. It was by the grace of God that Celia came back to us...and she brought some valuable information.
Celia shared with me in an e-mail, everything she had seen and heard during those 30 days. She told me that there were angels battling in between heaven and hell for her soul. What tipped the scales were prayers. She could hear the countless rosaries being prayed on her behalf. Rosaries from the nuns and children at Casa Amparo, from another orphanage further down in Mexico, from our friends and family, church, strangers...she heard them all. It was our prayers that brought her back for another short while, so she could finish what she started. God was not done with Celia.
She asked that I read her e-mail letter to our classmates. As promised, I read it at our 2006 class reunion. I posted it on our class website. You could hear a pin drop when I read it. She wanted everyone to know how important it was to pray for each other. In the early morning hours after our reunion, Cynthia Weber Garza and I spent our last slumber party with Celia. We didn't know then but her last trip to the orphanage, whose name I don't know, would be her last.
I didn't understand back then what I understand now...which is the way it is in life. I understand that forgiveness is your way out of your mental prison. Pray for everyone, even your enemies - God is in their lives just like he's in yours. It may be the prayer that saves someone's life. It saved mine.
Since the time Dora and I prayed the rosary...another mystery was added, the Luminous Mysteries.
Want to know more about the rosary: The Rosary
* * *
What I understand today...
I finally got my groove back re: meditation, prayer - it's battling insomnia for me, fixing my health, and I'm feeling the love again.
No one knows what the menagerie of friends and friends will do to your life - good or bad...but when you pray, without judgement, when you forgive, without judgement, it becomes what God wants it to be. I love his ways.
One small prayer, one small acknowledgement, one small gesture of kindness opens up the heavens.
Love and forgiveness, over everything else, is the healer of all ills. Watch how the people that truly love or have loved you come back, stay, or touch your life even if its for a brief moment. Your memory will keep it in your heart for a lifetime.
Dora, Celia and You will always be in my heart...
Monday, March 19, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Being comforted
As most of my friends know, my mom passed away last summer. I was reminded of the emotional rollercoaster ride by another one of my Facebook friends when she lost her dad just last week. Witnessing Lucee's pain wasn't easy. It felt as if I was losing my parents all over again.
I was comforted by an unexpected occurence. I knew when it happened that it was my mom reaching out, letting me know, somehow, the next "road less traveled." It came in the form of a phone call and an invitation. My husband, Ralph, a retired AT&T employee, had been a member of the Pioneers, AT&T's non-profit volunteer organization. Ralph was an active member until his return to the workforce. The Pioneers were needing active members to carry on their community service.
About the same time this happened, Comfort House, a non-profit organization, was having a fundraiser. Their flyer popped up on my news feed on Facebook.
Comfort House is a Special Care Facility for patients in their terminal stages of illness, whether it be cancer, Aids, etc. who have prognosis of 4 months or less of life to live. It's their desire to serve those who are in most dire need of their care. It's a 510(c)3 agency and donations are tax deductible.
It's a humble home with 10 bed homelike residences providing 24/7 care to anyone regardless of age, race, ethnicity, religion, social status or ability to pay. They work together with a hospice to provide a comfortable, clean place where your loved one can live with love and dignity. Their ministry of love and compassion goes beyond anything I could have imagined. They stand by you in whatever is needed, providing physical comfort, administering medications as directed by the hospice nurse, but what I felt most was the love, and selflessness of each member of their staff. Their love and prayers sustained our family during my mom's short stay.
They don't charge familes for their services. Families of residents are asked to make donations if they're able but it's not required nor expected. Other support comes from the community, gifts, fundraising activities and foundation grants. They do not seek Medicare or Medicaid reimbursement by choice. Community volunteers make up the difference that enables them to operate with a smaller staff. (Comfort House Services Inc. for more information.)
It is their mission to provide a peaceful, homelike environment where a person may die in peace, with dignity, surrounded by loved ones. It is their belief that no one should die in pain nor should they die alone.
They have served the community for 22 years.
So when the Pioneers asked us to continue their community services in the Valley, I jumped at the opportunity. But there is more to the story.
It was where I first heard of Victor Alvarez, a beautiful 23 year-old, who lived at Comfort House as a young boy because his family had given him up due to his illness, spinal muscular atrophy. He was not suppose to live long but he did, long enough to catch the eye of one volunteer, Elva Yolanda Morado, his mother who adopted him. He was a poet, artist, writer (he had column in "The Monitor") and an inspirational speaker. It was Victor who inspired me to return to college and finish my degree. I watched Victor as he attended Rayburn Elementary, then Morris, followed by McAllen High School or McHi as most of us know it. Victor fought to live...but was interrupted. He was called home on August 17, 2010.
Some of us are not crippled in body but in mind. Seeing Victor triumph gave me the courage to go back and finish my degree...in journalism and in life.
You can read more about Victor at Victor Manuel Alvarez - The Monitor
And there is still more...
One of the Pioneer representatives , Belinda Castillo Estrada, was someone from my past. Forty years ago, I was a bridesmaid at her wedding to Mario Estrada in Corpus Christi. Belinda and I hadn't seen each other since her wedding. So it was a homecoming besides a golden opportunity to serve. And just to extend the story further, her next door neighbor at the time was Thomas Weber. He was my escort at her wedding and if the name sounds familiar, it's because he is now married to one of my closest and dearest friend and classmate, Cynthia Garza Weber. As usual there is also another story but we'll let that one be. Everything happens for a reason. And while I may not be able to pronounce that reason at this moment, my life has come full circle, again.
Life is amazing isn't it?...or life can be amazing when you follow the dots...
Comfort House is in much need of donations. They provide meals for the staff and all volunteers. Check out their Wish list. Maybe you have some extra supplies you can spare. They'll appreciate it.
Thank you to the Pioneers, Debbie Martin and Belinda - Comfort House Administrator, Mary Botello and Margaret Gutierrez, administrative assistant - for all you do.
God Bless...
I was comforted by an unexpected occurence. I knew when it happened that it was my mom reaching out, letting me know, somehow, the next "road less traveled." It came in the form of a phone call and an invitation. My husband, Ralph, a retired AT&T employee, had been a member of the Pioneers, AT&T's non-profit volunteer organization. Ralph was an active member until his return to the workforce. The Pioneers were needing active members to carry on their community service.
About the same time this happened, Comfort House, a non-profit organization, was having a fundraiser. Their flyer popped up on my news feed on Facebook.
Comfort House is a Special Care Facility for patients in their terminal stages of illness, whether it be cancer, Aids, etc. who have prognosis of 4 months or less of life to live. It's their desire to serve those who are in most dire need of their care. It's a 510(c)3 agency and donations are tax deductible.
It's a humble home with 10 bed homelike residences providing 24/7 care to anyone regardless of age, race, ethnicity, religion, social status or ability to pay. They work together with a hospice to provide a comfortable, clean place where your loved one can live with love and dignity. Their ministry of love and compassion goes beyond anything I could have imagined. They stand by you in whatever is needed, providing physical comfort, administering medications as directed by the hospice nurse, but what I felt most was the love, and selflessness of each member of their staff. Their love and prayers sustained our family during my mom's short stay.
They don't charge familes for their services. Families of residents are asked to make donations if they're able but it's not required nor expected. Other support comes from the community, gifts, fundraising activities and foundation grants. They do not seek Medicare or Medicaid reimbursement by choice. Community volunteers make up the difference that enables them to operate with a smaller staff. (Comfort House Services Inc. for more information.)
It is their mission to provide a peaceful, homelike environment where a person may die in peace, with dignity, surrounded by loved ones. It is their belief that no one should die in pain nor should they die alone.
They have served the community for 22 years.
So when the Pioneers asked us to continue their community services in the Valley, I jumped at the opportunity. But there is more to the story.
It was where I first heard of Victor Alvarez, a beautiful 23 year-old, who lived at Comfort House as a young boy because his family had given him up due to his illness, spinal muscular atrophy. He was not suppose to live long but he did, long enough to catch the eye of one volunteer, Elva Yolanda Morado, his mother who adopted him. He was a poet, artist, writer (he had column in "The Monitor") and an inspirational speaker. It was Victor who inspired me to return to college and finish my degree. I watched Victor as he attended Rayburn Elementary, then Morris, followed by McAllen High School or McHi as most of us know it. Victor fought to live...but was interrupted. He was called home on August 17, 2010.
Some of us are not crippled in body but in mind. Seeing Victor triumph gave me the courage to go back and finish my degree...in journalism and in life.
You can read more about Victor at Victor Manuel Alvarez - The Monitor
And there is still more...
One of the Pioneer representatives , Belinda Castillo Estrada, was someone from my past. Forty years ago, I was a bridesmaid at her wedding to Mario Estrada in Corpus Christi. Belinda and I hadn't seen each other since her wedding. So it was a homecoming besides a golden opportunity to serve. And just to extend the story further, her next door neighbor at the time was Thomas Weber. He was my escort at her wedding and if the name sounds familiar, it's because he is now married to one of my closest and dearest friend and classmate, Cynthia Garza Weber. As usual there is also another story but we'll let that one be. Everything happens for a reason. And while I may not be able to pronounce that reason at this moment, my life has come full circle, again.
Life is amazing isn't it?...or life can be amazing when you follow the dots...
Comfort House is in much need of donations. They provide meals for the staff and all volunteers. Check out their Wish list. Maybe you have some extra supplies you can spare. They'll appreciate it.
Thank you to the Pioneers, Debbie Martin and Belinda - Comfort House Administrator, Mary Botello and Margaret Gutierrez, administrative assistant - for all you do.
God Bless...
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Meditation and Forgiveness
The world is so different...yet some things remain the same.
With all the political, economical, and nature's turmoil going on in the world, I take 15 minutes out of my world and try to meditate. It is my favorite form of prayer. For years in my 20's and 30's, I had no problem. Today, it's a different. Before, I don't know if it's all my experiences, the things I've seen, or just life's daily challenges kept me from succeeding but it had been very difficult to silence my mind.
Lately, with the help of a dry sauna, the silence has gotten stronger. First of all, I am claustrophobic. Fortunately, the "box" has a glass door so light comes in, I can see out or if worse comes to worse, there is a soft white light you can turn on. It can remind you of a coffin which in itself is eerie, except that you're sitting down. In a way its symbolic like dying to oneself. When you silence the mind, you allow for our Lord to make the best of a bad situation. a win/win situation...what it should have been before we interfered with our opinions, thoughts and unfulfilled intentions.
Meditation is the best teacher of letting go. Now, just step back and watch and listen - you will without a shadow of a doubt begin to see and hear clearer, and literally, find light at the end of the tunnel. By the way prayer has the same effect, except we're telling him what we want. Meditation on the other hand lets it become what it should be.
Ok, ok...I'm just speaking from my experience but you never know...its worth trying.
One of the other things I practice in meditation is forgiveness. It makes my world brighter and has the same effect of letting go, and letting God. Sometimes you have to forgive over and over again, until you succeed in letting go completely.
There's a poem on forgiveness that I'd like to share with you. It's written by the late Robert Muller, former secretary-general of the United Nations. It speaks to our world today. Please take the time to read it.
Decide to Forgive
Decide to forgive
For resentment is negative.
Resentment is poisonous
Resentment diminishes and devours the self.
Be the first to forgive.
To smile and to take the first step
And you will see happiness bloom
On the face of your human brother or sister.
Be always the first
Do not wait for other to forgive
For by forgiving
you become the master of fate
The fashioner of life
A doer of miracles.
To forgive is the highest,
Most beautiful form of love.
In return you will receive
Untold peace and happiness.
And here is the program for achieving a truly forgiving heart:
Sunday: Forgive yourself.
Monday: Forgive your family.
Tuesday: Forgive your friends and associates.
Wednesday: Forgive across economic lines within your own nation.
Thursday: Forgive across cultural lines within your own nation.
Friday: Forgive across political lines within your own nation.
Saturday: Forgive other nations.
Only the brave know how to forgive. A coward never forgives.
It is not in his nature.
This poem has been printed many times. I'm sure you've seen it before, but it bears repeating.
Our world is in much need of prayer, forgiveness, and love. Fifteen minutes of prayer in silence is nothing. Let's help heal the world.
With all the political, economical, and nature's turmoil going on in the world, I take 15 minutes out of my world and try to meditate. It is my favorite form of prayer. For years in my 20's and 30's, I had no problem. Today, it's a different. Before, I don't know if it's all my experiences, the things I've seen, or just life's daily challenges kept me from succeeding but it had been very difficult to silence my mind.
Lately, with the help of a dry sauna, the silence has gotten stronger. First of all, I am claustrophobic. Fortunately, the "box" has a glass door so light comes in, I can see out or if worse comes to worse, there is a soft white light you can turn on. It can remind you of a coffin which in itself is eerie, except that you're sitting down. In a way its symbolic like dying to oneself. When you silence the mind, you allow for our Lord to make the best of a bad situation. a win/win situation...what it should have been before we interfered with our opinions, thoughts and unfulfilled intentions.
Meditation is the best teacher of letting go. Now, just step back and watch and listen - you will without a shadow of a doubt begin to see and hear clearer, and literally, find light at the end of the tunnel. By the way prayer has the same effect, except we're telling him what we want. Meditation on the other hand lets it become what it should be.
Ok, ok...I'm just speaking from my experience but you never know...its worth trying.
One of the other things I practice in meditation is forgiveness. It makes my world brighter and has the same effect of letting go, and letting God. Sometimes you have to forgive over and over again, until you succeed in letting go completely.
There's a poem on forgiveness that I'd like to share with you. It's written by the late Robert Muller, former secretary-general of the United Nations. It speaks to our world today. Please take the time to read it.
Decide to Forgive
Decide to forgive
For resentment is negative.
Resentment is poisonous
Resentment diminishes and devours the self.
Be the first to forgive.
To smile and to take the first step
And you will see happiness bloom
On the face of your human brother or sister.
Be always the first
Do not wait for other to forgive
For by forgiving
you become the master of fate
The fashioner of life
A doer of miracles.
To forgive is the highest,
Most beautiful form of love.
In return you will receive
Untold peace and happiness.
And here is the program for achieving a truly forgiving heart:
Sunday: Forgive yourself.
Monday: Forgive your family.
Tuesday: Forgive your friends and associates.
Wednesday: Forgive across economic lines within your own nation.
Thursday: Forgive across cultural lines within your own nation.
Friday: Forgive across political lines within your own nation.
Saturday: Forgive other nations.
Only the brave know how to forgive. A coward never forgives.
It is not in his nature.
This poem has been printed many times. I'm sure you've seen it before, but it bears repeating.
Our world is in much need of prayer, forgiveness, and love. Fifteen minutes of prayer in silence is nothing. Let's help heal the world.
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