Advent

Although it's already December 8th...I started my Advent on December 1st...

I miss my dad.

December 1, 2010 - First day of Advent

I've been under the weather for quite some time, almost a month now.  Allergies have taken over.  It seems it's getting worse every year but this time, truth be told, I welcome the side-splitting pain I get each time I cough, and the throat-choking battle for air, which so far I have won.

You see, I don't know what it is but I feel broken.  Not body broken, but in spirit.  My spirit is hurting for my father.  My dad made his transition, June 11, 2010.  I didn't know I would miss him as much as I do.  It's nothing I can put my finger on; it's just an ache, accompanied by tears, then laughter.  Shortly thereafter, a peacefulness ensues only to repeat the cycle again at the next memory.  Each day comes and goes but my father's memory lingers the strongest amongst the hacking and sleepless nights.

Daddy would always pray over me when I was sick.  He would sit by my bed and hold a glass of water and pray.  When he finished his prayers he would hand me the glass of water to drink.  It was the best water, filled with all the love a father's prayer could fill.  Somehow, the next morning, I was always better.

So it's no surprise I haven't been on FaceBook; farming and bejeweling has also taken a back seat to my illness.  But luckily friends send me notes, telling me they miss me, or call so I make more of an effort to join my farm/friend community...and I did.  Thank God for friends...

I was behind on one of my farms - you have to complete quests every 3 - 4 days and I was one hour of losing another quest.  I sent out a request for whatever it was I needing and within fifteen minutes, friends came through with the final four items I needed.  Then I couldn't get back into Frontier Ville.  I tried every which way.  I closed my browser and cleared my cache, but Frontier Ville wouldn't load.  I don't know how long I was at it but it was obvious I took too long when a screen came on telling me I had missed the deadline.

I had failed my quest.

Normally, I would have been agitated (at least) for not completing my quest but this time it didn't.

I stepped back and looked at FaceBook instead and found myself counting my blessings.  I have friends here at home, in my neighborhood, my church, from school.  But on FaceBook, I get to see them (and their families) and what they're up to.  It's wonderful!  Without going anywhere, in one moment, I can see my world, rolling along, laughing, growing, learning, sharing with those I hold dear in my hear and with new friends I hope to meet one day.

It made me reflect on the Advent Season - a season of preparing - a place for our Lord in our home and welcome him into our hearts.  What was I preparing?

It made me reflect on my Dad.  So I wrote my dad a letter:

Letting you go Daddy, has been very hard but I am happy for you.  I saw you in those last days in lots of pain, more pain than you could handle.  I heard you asking God if it was time yet...I don't know for sure but in that moment, I imagine you heard our Lord's voice call your name and you knew.  It was time to let go of us...and you did.  I am in awe because I knew without a shadow of a doubt, you, my father was in my Father's presence.  And it saddens me, Daddy, because I can't honestly say whether I know I'll be as welcomed as you...and maybe that's why I cry...because I don't know.

                                                                                           I love you, Daddy
                                                                                                Diana



(Daddy wasn't perfect.  There was a lot of hurt and even though I took moments throughout the years to address my hurt, whether imagined or real, there was much still unresolved.  On the hour of my father's death, it was forgiven, and forever burned away.  God is great.)

 Guadalupe Corpus

March 20, 1919 - June 11, 2010

My Dad prayed every Friday for the last 35 years plus for all the people he knew that had passed away.  Each time another friend, or family member or even acquaintances, they were added to the list.  It contained hundreds of names.  It was the last thing he asked for that Friday morning my Dad said goodbye.


My friends will forgive me if I don't go fertilize their crops on FV, Frontier Ville, and FT.  I'd like to think love does that...go beyond.  This last mini quest taught me - people are faithful, all you have to do is reach out and ask...just don't take too long.  Time can run out and it's hard to get back in.

On this day as I begin my daily quest, as I light the first Advent candle of the season...it's time, I still have time, to go forward and prepare a place here...now.



Advent Season:  The first 12 days of December

Advent:  The time to listen for footsteps - you can't hear footsteps when you're running yourself.

                      -Bill McKibben


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Note:  I realize my blog is a bit outdated.  Had to start over quite a few times...blogger wasn't working properly but it's back now.